Monday, October 10, 2011

I Smell A Rat

Two tea boxes on the floor, a jar of honey in the sink, onion salt shaker resting sideways on the counter, kitchen cupboards hanging wide open with a bunch of spaghetti noodles falling out of their bag, extending precariously over the shelf ledge.  After a particularly long day Friday last, I arrived home to my apartment to find the kitchen in a strange state of disarray.

After eliminating the possibility of an intruder who likes to make messes in cabinets and leave, I began to suspect the visit of an animal of some sort, possibly a bird.  That hope was quickly dismissed upon pulling open one cupboard door and finding a rat the size of a small child peering out from behind my wine glasses.  Doors were slammed shut, an old mop handle was inserted through the cabinet pulls, and some masking tape haphazzardly applied for good measure; this would be dealt with in the morning.

***
The biggest rats I've ever seen have been the ones that roam Isla Gorgona and the back alleys and subways of Chicago.  Secretly hoping my own comprably-sized rodent intruder found its own mysterious way out, I went about "unlocking" the cupboard doors.  After momentarily believing my wishful thinking had come to fruition, I found it lurking behind the wall of tea boxes.  Plan B: Block off the kitchen so the only way of escape is through the patio doors where there is actually no escape and I can either sequester it outside and/or chase it around swinging violently with the aforementioned mop stick in an enclosed space.

I should mention that there is a fuse box located on the back wall of the kitchen cabinets.  This was part of my hope when I wished for the possibility of a spontaneously disappearing rat.  I have no idea where or even if this fuse box has some sort of outlet - construction codes are somewhat open to interpretation here - that rats, for example, could use to come and go as they please.  This rat decided to try, or at least avoid my mop handle, and hide in the fuse box.  For awhile the rat was winning the battle; no matter how much I prodded and banged around, it seemed to find a way to not only avoid contact with the stick but also not feel an urgent need to flee toward the patio as I had intended.

And then the rat unceremoniously layed down and a strange odor filled the morning kitchen air.  New problem: How do I extract a large electrocuted rat from the fuse box in the back of my kitchen cupboard?  After some creative maneuvering, with the help of a clothes pin and a plastic bag, I am happy to say there is no more rodent habitating in amongst my dinner plates and spices.  Although the stench of singed rat did hang in the air for awhile...

7 comments:

Kristin said...

Excellent recap. The pictures really do it justice. Had to forward this on to both Mama and Papa Rads - they will find it equally as amusing I am sure. Good work friend :)

TT said...

OMG! Hilarious as I visualize the battle with the rat! However, some things I would rather just not hear about! Happy trails, Stetson:)

Sam Heather said...

EW! You took a picture? GROSS.

jsmarslender said...

I have nothing to say! I want something to say in response and there's nothing! Too funny, too icky, so glad it wasn't me.

Okay, here's something: One afternoon our first year here, we were staring out the window at the sand and trash (lots of both!) and I was trying to figure out what was in the dumpster overflow in front of our building. All of a sudden a swarm of rats scurried off. Lapdog size. So glad they aren't in my kitchen though!

ninest123 said...

uggs on sale, louis vuitton outlet, chanel handbags, louboutin pas cher, nike free, nike roshe run, louboutin outlet, louis vuitton, sac longchamp, louis vuitton, christian louboutin outlet, jordan shoes, oakley sunglasses, ugg boots, louis vuitton outlet, nike outlet, nike air max, longchamp, tory burch outlet, oakley sunglasses, longchamp outlet, ray ban sunglasses, oakley sunglasses, nike air max, burberry, cheap oakley sunglasses, ray ban sunglasses, polo ralph lauren outlet, ugg boots, louboutin shoes, michael kors, louboutin, longchamp outlet, tiffany and co, ralph lauren pas cher, oakley sunglasses, kate spade outlet, prada handbags, ray ban sunglasses, air max, prada outlet, nike free, replica watches, louis vuitton, longchamp pas cher, replica watches, tiffany jewelry, polo ralph lauren outlet, gucci outlet, air jordan pas cher

ninest123 said...

timberland, nike air max, mulberry, air force, converse pas cher, new balance pas cher, nike air max, north face, ugg boots, coach outlet, coach purses, ugg boots, nike air max, hogan, abercrombie and fitch, hollister, true religion jeans, lacoste pas cher, ray ban uk, burberry outlet online, michael kors outlet, ray ban pas cher, north face, nike free run uk, nike blazer, true religion outlet, vanessa bruno, burberry, michael kors outlet, vans pas cher, replica handbags, michael kors, nike roshe, oakley pas cher, michael kors, michael kors, michael kors outlet, michael kors outlet, lululemon, coach outlet, ralph lauren uk, kate spade handbags, true religion jeans, michael kors outlet, true religion jeans, hollister pas cher, tn pas cher, michael kors, hermes, sac guess

ninest123 said...

pandora jewelry, canada goose uk, canada goose, ugg,ugg australia,ugg italia, louis vuitton, moncler outlet, ugg boots uk, bottes ugg, replica watches, pandora charms, moncler, links of london, swarovski, hollister, thomas sabo, moncler, barbour jackets, canada goose outlet, barbour, louis vuitton, louis vuitton, canada goose, juicy couture outlet, canada goose, toms shoes, canada goose, moncler, louis vuitton, moncler, doudoune canada goose, wedding dresses, pandora charms, karen millen, ugg pas cher, juicy couture outlet, moncler, coach outlet, sac louis vuitton pas cher, canada goose outlet, pandora jewelry, moncler, supra shoes, marc jacobs, montre pas cher, moncler, ugg,uggs,uggs canada, swarovski crystal