Fives

When I first arrived in Cali five years ago I had no expectations and many misconceptions.  I knew I was going to a place regarded by the US State Department as having "improved in recent years...but violence by narco-terrorist groups continues to affect some rural areas and large cities" and that coffee, cocaine, and Shakira were considered major exports.  And end list of Colombian "knowledge."

Five years later, I leave with a new language, three places I called home, and hundreds of faces attached to thousands of memories.  The reality of attempting to wrap this experience up into one closing post is a challenge I am not willing to dissect, digest, and disseminate.  That being said, I would like to acknowledge some of the bests (and worsts) after half a decade in this passionate and often misunderstood corner of the world.

Without further anticipation, I present to you my Five Colombian Top 5's (I struggle with overkill):

LIST #1: Top Five Most Unique Places

1. Valle de Cocora  This park is what Dr. Suess must have dreamt of when he created The Lorax.  Settled in a lush green valley reminiscent of the Swiss Alps in the middle of the "coffee axel" and just outside of the pueblito of Salento, in the department of Quindío, this National Park is home to the towering palma de cera or wax palm, the national tree of Colombia.  Whether exploring the valley on foot or horseback, as the clouds roll in and the tops of these enormous trees disappear, its impossible to not feel as if you've been transported inside the pages of a children's book. 

2. El infiernito  Located just outside of the village of Villa de Leyva north of Bogotá, this bizarre archeological site originally served as a ceremonial grounds for the Muisca indians to monitor the solstices and celebrate the fertility of the land...by erecting giant stone penises all over the hillside.  (I realize I used the world "erecting" and I am not apologizing for it.)  The Spanish conquerers were so appalled by this land that after their attempts at destroying and knocking over the statues failed, they resorted to renaming it "the little Hell" in an effort to dissuade the natives to go there in the first place.   

3. Santuario de las Lajas  Just outside of Ipiales near the Ecuadorian border in the department of Nariño is an impressive church that spans a river valley.  Why would someone build a church - or anything - in such a precarious location, you might ask?  Well, when a peasant woman and her daughter see the image of the Virgin Mary on a rock, in the middle of nowhere, sometimes things just get built.  The museum beneath the church in the catacombs, though bizarre, is also worth a visit as well.

4. Ciudad Perdida  High atop the mountains outside of Santa Marta along the caribbean coast sits the "lost city" of the Tairona people.  Likened to Peru's Machu Picchu but older, this indigenous city was never discovered by the conquistadores as they pillaged the coast, most likely due to the fact that the Taironas fled deeper into the jungle, integrating with other indigenous groups until they themselves ethnically ceased to exist.  Rediscovered in the 1970's by guaqueros, or grave robbers, a hike to the site today is a challenging but rewarding four to six days in and out.

5. San Cipriano  This tiny one road, no car town in the middle of the jungle - off the highway between Cali and the port of Buenaventura - isn't so much the draw, its the way you get there.  Since it sits in the middle of a protected area, the construction of roads is forbidden.  There is, however, a rail system.  The inventive people here have set up a system of rail carts called brujitas ("little witches") consisting of a wooden platform base, a bench, and a motorcycle with the front wheel bolted to the base and the back making contact with the rail.  Also, there is only one rail so as you go speeding through the jungle you just hope you don't encounter another brujita coming the opposite direction.

HONORABLE MENTION: Parque Santander in Leticia (Amazonas) at dusk when the parrots arrive, Cabo de la Vela (La Guajira), the "salt cathedral" of Zipaquira outside Bogotá, the caves and cliffs along the Pacific coast near Juanchaco, the main plaza of Villa de Leyva during Sunday market, the plaza outside of Medellín's Museo de Antioquia filled with Fernando Botero's statues, "el aquario" on Isla San Andrés, the San Juan hot springs in Puracé National Park (Cauca/Huila) and the ocean-filtered aquarium in the Islas Rosarios off the coast of Cartagena.

LIST #2: Top Five Favorite New Foods

1. Chontaduro or palm fruit.  There is nothing like this orange golfball-sized fruit found on many a street-vendor's cart in Cali and the southwestern part of Colombia.  With a texture like overripe squash and a taste I can't find a comparison to, it is often served soaked in honey and sprinkled with salt.

2. Guanábana or "soursop."  Rarely eaten whole, this watermelon-sized green fruit with menacing but harmless pinecone-like spines is usually made into a juice with milk.  I don't think I have ever passed this one up if it was a juice option.

3. Buñuelo.   The Colombian doughnut hole.  The recipe for breakfast bliss is cornmeal and campesino cheese deep fried to tennis ball-sized golden perfection.

4. Ajiaco. This delicious soup, endemic to the area around Bogotá, contains shredded chicken, cilantro, potatoes, yucca, a chunk of cobbed corn, capers, and sour cream served with a side of avocado and rice to add in later.  

5. Patacón.  Plantains deep fried, smashed flat, and deep fried again, then sprinkled with salt.  These are served as sides - sometimes as the "plate" itself when ordering fish dishes - and can be broken into smaller pieces like chips for dipping if thin enough.

HONORABLE MENTION: bandeja paisa, sancocho, arroz con coco y pasas, tamales, pandebono, almojabana, lulo juice, maracuyá juice, arequipe, and agua panela

LIST #3: Top Five Favorite Travel Moments

1. In a canoe, floating peacefully in the middle of the Yavari River after dark listening to our guide, Jhimmy, regale us with the indigenous legend of pink dolphin. (Technically this was in the Brazilian backwaters, but I got there by departing from Leticia, Colombia, so it counts.)  Between my then limited Spanish and our guide's non-English, it took awhile to decipher the tale, but in the end, it was a magical moment.

2. Drinking a pitcher of sangria atop the colonial wall surrounding the city of Cartagena, as dusk became dark, listening to the ocean and music of the caribbean with two good friends could not have been a better way to escape the heat of the day and reflect upon the adventures of this place, trapped in time gone by.

3. Hiking barefoot and occasionally swimming through a pitch-black cave located within the Reserva Rio Claro, located a short walk into the forest off the highway between Medellín and Bogotá, while some sort of large bird screamed and squawked in the echoey darkness.  Beginning with a swim across a river (losing my shoes in the process), a hike through the woods, then running downhill along a narrow path to avoid the biting ants, only to arrive at the aforementioned cave, which dumped us out into the river we originally crossed (see photo).

4. Running my first full marathon around Lago Calima (beginning and ending in the town of Darién) and subsequent other races in Pereira and Restrepo.  The Calima race was special as it was my first and, although small, I will always remember the excitement and support from my fellow racers and the beautiful rise and fall of the course as it circled and came back around Lake Calima.

5. Driving through the desert of La Guajira, stopping occasionally to chase cows or have an impromptu photo-shoot in a cactus grove, culminating with a stop at the beautiful Cabo de la Vela.  A desert might not seem like an enchanting place, but when it abuts to the magnificent blues of the Caribbean it becomes so much more than endless arid terrain. 

HONORABLE MENTION: riding horseback in the Valle de Cocora outside of Salento, kayaking the Pacific near Juanchaco, the Bogotá Beer Company tour, field trips to Isla Gorgona, being taken to our guide's home in San Agustín and being solicited to buy ancient indigenous artifacts that he and his cousin had grave robbed, struggling through cold and altitude sickness while climbing the Puracé Volcano.

____________________________

The section describing Cali in the "Lonely Planet: South America" guide book appropriately states that the city is "Colombia in your face: the attitude, heat, traffic, beautiful women, music, and food all join together in a delightful and dizzying way."  Appealing, yes, but the author goes on to accurately warn that "Cali needs you less than you need it."  The last two lists are dedicated to my newest adopted home, who I grew to like - and, on occasion, love.

LIST #4: Top Five Favorite Restuarants/Cafés 

1. Platillos Voladores - A fusion-style restaurant mixing local flavors with international cuisines, everything here is unique, giving your flavor pallet the kick it deserves from a good meal.  This restaurant lives up to its name, "flying saucers," as the food is definitely out of this world!

Recommended: Chontaduro Rolls, Lettuce Spring Rolls, Coffee Chicken, Guava Chicken, Pad Thai, and Tofu Encocado...but you really can't go wrong!

2. Crepes & Waffles - This Colombia-based chain restaurant would make a killing in the US.  Turning freshly made crepes and waffles into more than just a breakfast item, along with delicious salads and ice cream, this was a monthly staple during my time here. Also, the company's mission is to only hire single mothers as employees.  

Recommended: the Poblano, Mexicano, Serrano, Caprino, Ensalada Portofino, Ensalada Marroquí, (and for dessert) the Baby Doll and Cleopatra.

3. El Escudo del Quijote - I'm sad I didn't discover this until just this past year.  Located in barrio El Peñon a few blocks from the park, it has a moody and intimate atmosphere, very attentive service, and a relatively small Spanish-inspried menu that will not not disappoint, although it is admittedly challenging if you are a vegetarian.  

Recommended: Chontaduro Ravioli, Lomo pimienta, Smoked Salmon, and definitely order the "postre sopresa."  

4. Macondo Postres y Café - Located in the historic San Antonio neighborhood, this small corner establishment serves sandwiches, salads, and drinks in a cozy atmosphere perfect for chatting with a friend or reading a book.  There are also tons of weekly special events taking place, especially in the evenings, such as movie nights, poetry readings, and jazz sessions.  

Recommended: Enalada de la huerta, tuna sandwich, hamburguesa de la casa, coffee lemonade (seriously).

5. Juan Valdez Café - I had to include this on the Top 5 since I was essentially a "regular."  While I didn't sample a lot from the menu - café grande con leche and the hot chai were my only drink orders, really - the Unicentro and Granada locations often served as my weekend "office" for grading.  

HONORABLE MENTION - Il Forno, Obelisco, Tortelli's, Welcome, Monchis, Café del Sol, El Faro, Clown's Deli, Anttonina's, Route 66, Frijoles Verdes, El Arca, Bourbon Street, Pizza al Paso, Sansai Wok, Zahavi, Teatro Mágico del Sabor, and Primos

LIST #5: Top Five Things To Do In Cali (Other Than Eat)

1. Dance Salsa at Tin Tin Deo, Zaparoco, Tienda Vieja, or La Fuente.  Tin Tin Deo (San Fernando on the 5ta) is great if you want a learning curve and good air circulation.  Zaparoco (Centenario) if you want live music and don't mind sweating the minute you walk in the door. Tienda Vieja (Los Cambulos) usually has a live band, good picadas, and is large so you'll have plenty of space to dance, however you may not be in the same room as the band.  La Fuente (Granada) if don't mind small spaces and occasionally creepy dance partners (and sometimes dancing on the sidewalk).

2. Hike Tres Cruces on a Sunday morning (because there are lots of police then).  On one of the peaks surrounding Cali are a trio of crosses overlooking the city.  Begin near the statue El Gato along the Rio Cali in barrio Normandia, walk uphill into the condo-ed neighborhood, until pavement turns to gravel, which will turn to dirt.  At the top, along with a grand view of the city, you will be rewarded with vendors selling fresh fruit juices, cholados, and water; a make-shit gymnasium with concrete weighted barbells; and a church service under a tent (on Sundays).

3. A visit the Zoológico de Cali (Santa Rita) is one of nicest ways to pass an afternoon.  It is well-organized, easy to walk, has a diversity of regional and international wildlife, and situated on the edge of the city at the base of the farallones with one of Cali's seven rivers running through the middle of it.  For me, the giant anteater, capybaras, and little titi monkeys are worth the price of admission all by themselves!

4. Also on Sunday mornings, run, walk, or bike the "Ciclovida." While Medellín and Bogotá have a slightly better infrastructure for pedestrian/bike friendly activities, Cali gives it a try every week by closing down large stretches of road - usually a good chunk of the Autopista, but sometimes the Novena too - to get people out and about, promoting the city and good health.  There are controlled intersections, vendors, bike rentals (recent new feature), and the occasional free rumba, aerobics, and spin-classes set up under tents in the medians.  

5. In December, visit the alumbrado navideño along the Rio Cali.  As part of the Christmas season Feria de Cali, the river in the north of the city is decorated with millions of lights, all following a single theme, such as "the history of dance in Colombia" or "fairy tales and legends."  In the dark with the river serving as a constant soundtrack, the banks of the river turn into a magical place. 

HONORABLE MENTION: Picnic in Parque San Antonio, attend the Festival Petronio Álvarez in August and listen to the best Pacific music bands battle it out on stage over four days, swim in the Rio Pance above La Voragine, visit the Museo Tertulia, and watch a soccer game at the newly remodeled Estadio Olímpico Pascual Guerrero.

***BONUS LIST***

Top Five Things I Will Not Miss About Colombia

1. Missing toilet seats - I understand that some roadside rest stop or corner tienda's bathroom facilities may leave a little to be desired.  But I find it hard to accept that some upscale malls and very nice restaurants can't afford to supply toilet seats to their commodes.  Are toilet seats overly expensive in Colombia?  Are they more fragile here; epidemic of hard sitters, if you will?  If they're being stolen, I have three questions: (1) How?  (2) Is there a plethora of them in some of the poorer barrios? And (3) where exactly could I find this black market for toilet seats???  I have never received a convincing answer to this strange and annoying problem.
2. Taxi drivers who can't find things - The address system in all major Colombia cities is one of the most accurate in the world.  Calles run west to east increasing in number as they go; Carreras do the same north south. After the street number there is another set of numbers: the next cross street to the west/north followed by the number of meters said cross street is away.  My address was Carrera 65 #10-207, meaning my building was located on the 65th Carrera 207 meters from the 10th Calle.  Its like playing Battleship since your address is like a coordinate system.  Also, if you're a taxi driver it is your job to understand this.  I should not be explaining to you where a place is that I have never been to before; this is a problem for me.
3. Lines and the hypocrisy of line behavior - I found the amount and frequency with which I had to stand in lines in Colombia exhausting at times, but I assimilated to it.  It wasn't one of my favorite things, however, Colombians are generally patient and non-confrontational people who wait in lines well.  Except when they think it is completely acceptable to budge in front on the logic that they only have  "una poquita preguntica" (a little tiny question).  To top it off, nobody says anything to this person despite the fact that no one thinks this is okay.
4. Mio stations at rush hour - I have gone into this ad nauseum before, but goodbye and good riddance to blocked entryways, to crawling over stubborn aisle sitters, and to people who abruptly stop at the threshold of the bus.
5. "Cheese" - Chedder.  Swiss.  Parmesan.  Colby.  These are cheeses.  Campesino is not cheese.  I may have had an unfair bias coming from a dairy-rich part of the U.S. but after five years, I am only slightly more tolerant of this queso.

HONORABLE MENTION: My (physical) classroom and my land lady. 

*All photos were taken by me (or with my camera) except the one of "el infiernito" which I found online with no credit to it.

When In Rome

As five years in Colombia comes to a bittersweet close and I reflect back on all I have seen, experienced, learned, and accomplished here, I can't deny how I have also changed.  I know I've become more flexible, but at the same time less of a push-over.  I've allowed myself to relax and think less while speaking Spanish and dealing with time issues, while becoming more self-aware and analytical of things around me.  


The other day a Colombian colleague said I had been in the country long enough to become platanizado - literally "made into a plantain" - or localized, for lack of a better word.  Definitely a compliment coming from a native Caleño!  And while I know I still stick out like the glowing pink gringo that I am, I clearly have taken in and adjusted to some of the day-to-day nuances that makes living in Colombia special.


So, for those who will come after me and those who are new to this spectacular corner of the world, I present to you...

How To Be Less Gringo and More Colombian 

(or at least Caleño) in 14 Easy Steps

1)  Always answer your phone.  In public, in the bathroom stall, at the movies, in a work meeting: answer it!  This may mean ducking your head under the table, but still the call must not be ignored.  Also, never whisper.  Colombians don't know how to do this into their phones.  Whisper and you might as well wave your US Passport over your head like a flag on Independence Day.

2)  Learn to flap your hand and point with your lips.  Embarrassed?  Shocked?  Excited?  (Really, do you have any emotion at all?)  Then flap your hand back and forth really fast.  If you can make a hissing noise by sucking in air through gritted teeth, people may suspect you're gringo even less.  Now ask someone to pass you that glass over there with your lips; just raise your chin a bit and blow that bottle a long extended kiss.  Yes, no one suspects a thing!

3) & 4) Don't read books in public.  This is the quickest way to pick out a gringo.  Gringos read in public for fun.  Colombians are social.  Even with complete strangers.  If there is, for some strange reason, no one to strike up a conversation with, resort to flagrant staring.  Without sunglasses.

5) Think small.  Learn how to make everything diminutive when you speak.  Segundo doesn't exist for you: instead say segundito, ratico, or minutico.  See that fat chick over there?  Make yourself feel better and call her gordita instead of gorda.  Is the piece of paper you need smaller than 8 1/2 x 11?  Forget it. The paper could be the size of a Mack truck: call it a papelito and move on.


6) Just dance.  Preferably salsa but that doesn't even matter.  Grab a partner and attempt to copy them and/or those around you.  You get points for effort here.  Everyone dances.  If you stay in your chair and watch, tattoo "foreigner" to your forehead now.

7) Order 'guaro without asking and just start pouring shots.*  Never say "Would anyone like aguardiente?"  Just tell the server to get a bottle; no self-respecting Colombian asks people if they want it.  No self-respecting Colombia declines a shot either; start pouring and sticking those tiny plastic shots under people's unsuspecting noses until they toss it back.
*There is the obvious prerequisite of man-up-and-learn-to-drink-firewater-like-a-champ thing that we'll just blow on past.

8) Stand in front of the doors to the MIO bus and don't move.  Ignore all the space behind you where you could be waiting patiently.  It doesn't matter that the electronic sign says the bus for your route won't be pulling up for another seven minutes; stay put.

Bonus "local points" for giving dirty looks to the people who's bus did just pull up and who had to frantically push by you before the doors slid shut.  How rude of them, right?!?  Clearly you were standing there.

9) Once on the bus, sit in the aisle seat and make people crawl over you.  Look, you got there first.  You might be getting off before this complete stranger you know nothing about.  Heaven forbid you scoot over.  Never mind that this person is huge, pregnant, carrying fifteen bags of groceries, is 105 years old with an oxygen tank, if they want a seat they have to work for it and squeeze between your awkwardly turned body and the seat in front of you.  You do this, you are instantly "local."

10) In a crowded restroom, line up directly behind someone at a urinal or in front of a stall door.  If you decide that standing at the restroom door is a better option you might as well, (a) tie a flashing neon sign above your head saying "not from here" and (b) never get to do your business as everyone will simple walk past you to assume their chosen position.

11) Repeat after me: "There is no such thing as a nasty arepa." A true Colombian loves every and all type of arepa.  Even those disgusting little dry white hockey pucks that come obligatorily on the side of everything.  Bonus points for being able to recommend a place that "has the best arepas in Cali" and offer to take the disgusted person there sometime.

12) & 13) Learn that certain places don't have lines that you need to wait in.  Like the corner bakery.  Or the pharmacy.  Even the airport if you're real ballsy.  Also, as long as you preface your cutting-in with a "peguntica" disclaimer (little tiny question...see #4), that makes it okay.

14) Always know where someplace is.  If some one - foreign or domestic - asks for directions to a place you've never heard of, pretend it is literally right around the corner and send them that way.  Repeatedly use words like "cerquita" and hope they just keep walking and don't come back.

Twice As Nice

"I think I'll take a moment, celebrate my age,

The ending of an era and the turning of a page,

Now its time to focus in on where I go from here,

And I'll do it better in my next thirty years."

~Tim McGraw

("My Next Thirty Years")

In the past I've not tried to hide or avoid my birthday, just not advertise it.  I have no problem being the center of attention - I'm a teacher after all - but only on my own self-imposed, red-faced terms.  Also, birthdays growing up were never huge affairs; most were low-key events involving immediate family, a card from Grandma, a nice breakfast before school, a midnight phone call from a friend.

Turning thirty must have flipped the switch.  I not only observed the passing of my third decade, I got to have two parties.  Two!

The first was beyond my control.  Most Sundays I do a movie date with some friends.  The second weekend in December, my actual birthday, was no different and I went to a cinema near my house with Kristin and Kelsi, who informed me beforehand that we would get dinner afterward.  We did, but not before taking me to a mens' clothing store, having me pick out a tie, then blindfolding me with it, and taking a taxi ride to an undisclosed location and lead to a private room full of friends!  (Side note: A gringo, riding through Cali, Colombia, in the back seat of a taxi, blindfolded surely turned a few heads; of course I couldn't see them...)

Friends at Platillos Voladores...one of Cali's best!

Ridiculous hats and cakes...happy surprise birthday!

The invitation to rumba!!!

My good friend and colleague, Beatriz, also turned 30 recently and we had decided back in November to do a joint celebration - this, after I said I probably wouldn't do anything special, was kind of decided for me.  We wanted to have some sort of a theme but we wanted it simple and ultimately decided on a "black & white" party.  Having parent connections to a local salsa establishment, we were able to reserve an entire end of one room, adjacent to the stage where not only the live band played, but a trio of professional salsa performers did an exhibition and a mariachi group serenaded the crowd.

With Rob and Daniel

Black & White party people!

Dancing salsa, merengue, and a bit of reggaeton until almost three in the morning surrounded by friends who have become my "Colombian family" reminds me how incredibly blessed this experience of living here these past four and a half years have been.  The first thirty years were fantastic; I can't wait to see what God has in store for my next thirty!

No Two Left Feet Here

Women dressed like brightly colored street walkers? Check.
Men costumed, gelled, and glittered for a night at a gay night club? Check.
A Cher tribute concert? RuPaul's entourage? Nope and nope. There must be a salsa competition brewing...

Cali is salsa. Salsa is Cali. Unlike any other place in Colombia, you hear the horns and cowbells everywhere you go. It pours onto the streets from the radios' of taxis and eminates from little tiendas all across the city. There are sections of Cali where club after club - sometimes for several consecutive blocks - are all salsa bars.

It seems only appropriate then, that Cali is the host of the 2010 World Salsa Festival, a celebration of the dance that Caleños hold with such pride. The festival features concerts of reknowned salsa bands, interviews and forums with famous musicians of the genre, and a dance competition.



We attended the first round of competition on Saturday at the Cristales Open Aire Theatre. Even the "bad" groups were pretty amazing. Both of these videos are of the group portion of the contest. We arrived in time to catch the last handful of contestants in the pairs division, but unfortunately, I didn't have the mind to record any of that.



Despite the glitter and often-times ridiculous hair-styles, this dance has evolved to a point known as "Cali-salsa," adding flairs to the footwork not found in other salsa styles. When coupled with theatrics, cheerleading-like lifts and throws, not to mention the fact that women are in very high heels, this is a sub-culture all of its own. As evidenced by the crowd's reaction and screaming throughout, this is kind of a big deal here.

Rhythm Of The Night

On Saturday, in honor of nothing in particular, my roommate and I hosted a party at our apartment. We invited people from school and just let word of mouth do the work for us.
At about 8:30 pm our first guests began arriving and by 10 pm there were a whole lot of gringos and two Colombians (who came with gringos) and no one else. Finally at 11:30 pm the party started. This was mostly due to the arrival of the ones who clearly know how to party, the Colombians. The salsa got cranked up and suddenly we had a real party.
I spent most of the night out on the balcony, allowing people to circulate to me. Sometimes that is more fun than making ones way through a party. I figured my roommate had that covered. The great part was that while I was sitting there, enjoying the night air and watching the salsa get hot inside, I got to practice my Spanish (and occasional Spanglish) with some new Colombian friends. It was nice to be told that I was speaking really well for only having been here six months. A lot of them knew some English too so between our limited language skills we were able to talk about a surprising amount of topics.
I also, again, got sucked in to the inevitable downfall of any conversation with a Colombain at a party in Colombia – aguardiente. This aperitif might as well be known as the “friendship shot” since it is very customary to be offered one after a conversation of any length; the longer the conversation, however, the more shots. This drink, which smells like licorice and has an after taste like acidic candy, is cheap and traditional here, at a around $2 to $4 a bottle.
Despite, increasing my likelihood of a guaranteed hang-over the next day, I felt fine. I slept most of the morning and afternoon, as the party roared on until about 4:30 am. Once again, the Colombians showed us how a fiesta should go down!

And On Your Left...

Greetings and Happy New Year...or I should say Feliz Año Nuevo!

After a great vacation filled with travel, family, and relaxation, I had three days of school (in which many kids were absent - really, is three weeks off enough?) and then another great weekend with VISITORS!!! My first official house guests were my brother, Rolland, and his girlfriend, Jamie.

They arrived early Friday morning and, after a slight transportation mix-up at the airport where my hired driver apparently had trouble picking out two gringos getting off a plane from Bogotá, they arrived safe and sound at school. The cafeteria was serving a very Colombian soup that day called sancocho so we were off to a great start to a crash-course in Colombian everything.

They sat through my last class of the day and the kids were very excited to have them there. During work time, several students came to introduce themselves...I suppose practicing mitosis can wait until next time. Even after class when the school was letting out and I was preparing to give a tour of the campus, several students sheepishly came up and asked to be introduced. As much as these kids talk in class, they are very polite and I do love them.

We caught a taxi home, sparing Rolland and Jamie the thrill of the "teacher bus." We had a couple beverages and enjoyed the sunset from both my balcony and the tienda on the corner. It was so great to be able to sit back, relax, and enjoy a conversation with someone I've known for a long time (yes, almost my whole waking life) and meet someone new. They were a little travel-laged having flown all through the night, so I graciously let them take a nap before dinner. After a brief reprieve we went to a trendy part of Cali with a lot of restaurants and had a great dinner. Jamie felt as though she were back in Spain versus Latin America based on the atmosphere and I attempted to show her some of the differences in the Spanish spoken here. Rolland also ordered all by himself - I guess "North Juarez" (aka El Paso, TX) is rubbing off a little! We made sure to congratulate him.

Saturday morning we had a nice slow start, slept in, and then walked to breakfast at a place about a mile from my apartment called, ironically, just Crepes & Waffles. It was more of a dessert breakfast than breakfast breakfast, but none of us complained. Incidentally, the restaurant is owned by a woman who only hires single mothers to work there. An all-woman workforce is very uncommon in Colombia. But I digress... We then headed to school to meet another teacher, Matt (who I traveled to the Pacific region with over Thanksgiving), who took us up to the Rio Pance outside of town and we enjoyed a fantastic afternoon sitting in the cold clear mountain spring water amongst the rocks, waterfalls, and butterflies. After a few hours we headed back into town and grabbed an early dinner with Matt at a restaurant that serves more meat than...well, its a lot. (My analogies are failing me right now...or are completely inappropriate.)

We then headed home to prep for a night out at the salsatecha. This meant a nap. After picking up my friend Tina (I needed a dancing partner too!) we arrived at a famous and popular salsatecha called Tin Tin Deo. We got there early enough to be guaranteed a table, and, after ordering our bottle of Bacardi, we began the process of teaching Rolland how to dance. It was slow going but he was doing pretty well by the end of the night although Jamie began to think the Bacardi was helping so she continued to pour. Rolland even won a CD with salsa music by local artists. The best souvenirs are free, right?! Later that night I made the Colombian equivalent to late night pizza - frozen empanadas - and we crashed.

The final and last day began with a mid-morning hike up one of the mountains that borders Cali to the west that is topped with three giant crosses. Another teacher friend, Lisa, joined us and we made it up and down in roughly two hours. The view of the smog-covered city was as beautiful as a dead rose but when you come from the flat mid-west, anything from high up is impressive.

We then headed home, had some breakfast, showered, and headed to the mall to do what Americans do best: be consumers. Jamie got her nails done and was really impressed with the tiny flowers painted across her big toes. I believe the quote later that night was, "Let's all just stop and look at my feet!" After spotting some Colombian "plastic," including the ever-elusive butt implant, we headed to get some dinner at a restaurant owned by the family of one of my students. On the way there we ran into another student (who ran out of a restaurant just to say hello, incidentally) and Rolland and Jamie got to witness the always awkward "kiss-hello with your student" scenario.

Dinner was delicious and I decided I really do need to go there more often. I invited a teaching couple from Wisconsin along, Sarah and Justin, to talk about Santa Marta and the surrounding area of the Colombian Caribbean coast, as that is where Rolland and Jamie were headed for the second leg of their Colombian adventure. (The 'Sconies had recently visited the area over Thanksgiving ergo...)

The last thing I remember about my dear brother's visit was stumbling down the stairs of my building to let the driver know they were coming in my sleepy 5am stupor. I even tried talking to him in Spanish and attempted to figure out what happened on Friday at the airport when they arrived. If I got a response, I don't recall. Too early to be functioning in another language.

Overall it was a fantastic visit and I am currently exhausted from playing tour guide all weekend but so glad I did. So, who's next...?

Honeymoon's Over...

So, this last week has been good but trying at times. The one big inconvenience stems from the fact that my glorious apartment might as well be a cave since the city turned off our electricity (and for a day, our water). There was a mix-up somewhere along the line and someone, either the last tenants, the landlord, the school, someone...did not pay the bills. So, when the city saw us sucking power from an unpaid grid, they cut it. That was last Wednesday. As I said in a previous email, as modern as Colombia is, it moves at an excruciatingly slow pace when it comes to getting things done. Turning off the power, however, they can do quickly.

Also, because we are so close to the equator, we get approximately 12 hours of daylight each day. Unlike North America where the sunrise and sunset are a gradual process, here it is light, then about 2 minutes of dawn/dusk and then night. This happens somewhere between 6-6:15 each morning/evening. Then my apartment is dark and I am fumbling like a blind man. Hopefully, tonight when I get home there will be lights and other wonderful things from this past century. Oh, yeah...with no power, we cannot run the water heater so its been cold showers for a week and you know what that means...eep!

Other than dealing with stubbed toes and shrinkage, I've been busy at school getting ready for the kids tomorrow. It will be strange having 4 year olds all the way up to seniors on the same campus but I'm looking forward to it. The staff meetings are ridiculous and I've definitely developed ADD. They are bilingual and so everything takes twice as long as it is said twice (even questions and discussions and jokes). There is no rhyme or reason to who translates or if it is said first in Spanish or first in English. There are always people talking; if you can have controlled chaos, this is it. Regardless, everyone is really nice. I'll write more about school later...

This past weekend was pretty chill. There was a "happy hour" at the boss's house on Friday. ("House" is misleading since most houses don't have electric fencing and several armed guards but who's being picky?) We got to meet and socialize with a lot more of the staff and of course there was salsa dancing under the tent by the pool. After that ended, another teacher had a after-party at his apartment, which happens to be down the street from my dark hovel so of course I went. There was more dancing and socializing. The Colombians there thought it was funny how the non-Colombians just stood/sat around and talked. I didn't realize it but that is a very non-Colombian thing to do. When you are at a party in Colombia you dance. And when you are in Cali, you salsa. (That is ALL they play here, especially at parties.) I got several "lessons" from a couple different girls and they said I did well. (?) Maybe it's the red hair, I don't know...

On Saturday, another teacher who has been here two years and worked at a school Bogota for several years took a few of us to the Central District. First we walked through this open market. This is where the food comes before it goes to the stores. Allegedly it is cheaper here. This may be true but you have to be able to stand the stench of fish, cow heads, and other dismemberments first. I might prefer my food from the grocer for awhile longer. Next we went to an area that is essentially a giant thrift sale/black market paradise. It extends for probably 8 blocks x 8 blocks. For those of you who have been to Canal Street in NYC...it's like that times 100. Crazy crazy crazy.

Sunday I went in to school and that was it.

I've got to go catch the teacher bus home so until next time...
Have a great day!!!!

Me Llamo Sergio

Hola!

I am finally at a computer after about five days, which in this day in age seems like an eternity, especially when so much has been happening. Today is the first day of teacher workshops. I've met all the other science teachers. There are nine of us in all and five are Colombians. Everyone is really nice and promised to help me with my Spanish. I cannot get over how beautiful the school grounds are. My classroom is enclosed and has air conditioning but most of the other non-science rooms have just three walls. I've been told that the incoming freshmen class is "wild" by the Colombian teachers but the physics teacher clued me in that "wild kids" in Colombia are the equivalent to "pretty good" in the States. Either way, bring 'em on! In addition to biology I am also teaching Pre-AP Biology for juniors and seniors. (Surprise!)

This afternoon we have work time but I was originally told we would not get work time the first two days so I did not bring anything for my classroom today...so darn it, I guess I will have to email. And occasionally look out the windows at beautiful trees. I'm still waiting to see the iguanas that supposedly roam the campus.

On Monday we got our maid. Her name is Omaira and she is very nice. It was great that we were home the first time she came so we could show her what we wanted her to do and not do. (Note that I said show and not tell. I am getting quite good at charades.) She comes Mondays and Thursdays and we pay her $60,000 a week (Colombian pesos) which is the equivalent to about $30 a week. That sounds horrible but that is at the higher end for maids here.

I've been exploring my barrio a little each day. There is a nice corner store right across the street from me. It is basically a little tiny grocery store. The anti-kidnapping army is also located one block down from me. They are always out on the street in their army gear and giant guns. I make it a point to say hello since they are there for me...well, that's what I tell myself. They are also very friendly.

We went on a tour of the city yesterday got to see a lot of great stuff. The bus drove us to the top of a mountain that has a giant Jesus statue at the top (kind of like the one in Rio in Brazil but smaller). There is another mountain with three giant crosses on top that can be seen from the Jesus mountain. The teacher giving the tour told us that folklore says that the reason Calenos (people from Cali) party so much is that the devil stopped to rest in Cali and then because they built both of these monuments on top of the mountains, he couldn't get out and is stuck there...thus the constant celebrations and partying.

Speaking of partying...we went out to a salsatecha (salsa club) last weekend. It was so much fun. I knew the basic salsa steps from many summer nights at Famous Dave's in Uptown (Minneapolis) salsa nights but was worried they wouldn't be enough. Apparently I learned Carribean Salsa, which is much more formal. Colombian salsa is all hips and not so much feet. I'm learning to adjust. The crazy thing about a salsatecha is that the dance floor isn't that big and it is HOT and sweaty. People go out and dance and then when the song ends there is a complete change in the dance floor and new people replace the old ones. You rarely see anyone stay out there for more than one song in a row. People go back to their tables and have a drink and talk and then go back and dance some more. Oh! And you don't order drinks. You choose a type of liquor. They bring you the entire bottle along with glasses, shot glasses, and ice bucket, and mixers in pitchers. You are your own bar. The only thing that sucks is that you pretty much have to decide what you want to be drinking all night long. There is a local liquor called Aguardiente (I think that's the right spelling) and it is kind of like tequilla but it smells and has an aftertaste like licorrice. It's...interesting.

Spanish speakers have a problem with the "st" sound, since it doesn't really exist in Spanish, so my name is a trick. Especially when I call for a cab. I lost count the number of times I've been hung up on. I have adopted a Spanish name to alleviate such confusion. I am now Sergio. It seems to be working. To get a cab here you call (pick a number) ###-####. All the same. It was recommended to us that the 5's and the 7's were the best. The 6's and 3's are not to be taken and the 4's are suspect as the Colombian mafia used to run/use those. So far the 4's have not hung up on me so for now I prefer to go with the mafia.

Some other things I have learned in the past week:

1) You can NEVER eat too many fried plantains. It is not possible.
2) Riding shotgun in a Colombian taxi trumps any rollercoaster ride. There are no traffic signs, only suggestions. Case in point: when going to the salsatecha (salsa club) our driver took us down the wrong way of a one way, yelling at the drivers going the correct direction, mind you. Then backed down another one way, still travelling in the wrong direction. (These people are either the worst drivers in the world or the best. I have yet to decide.)
3) Pedestrians have no rights. Basically, I'm getting really good at playing human Frogger.
4) Fresh mango is the best thing I've ever tasted.
5) There is always a reason for Colombians to party (have a fiesta). I've been here a little over a week total and already there has been a national holiday. There is another next week.
6) Colombians have there own system of time. Manana means both "morning" and "tomorrow"...it also means "whenever I feel like coming/doing it." We waited three days for our living room furniture to be delivered. They came once at 8pm on a Saturday night. We were not there anymore. Our doorman told us they would be there on Sunday. Normally I would not expect anything to be delivered on a Sunday but I also would not expect anything to be delivered on a Saturday night! They came Monday, by the way.
7) Cali is the capitol of plastic surgery. A fun game to play is "spot the fakes." Let's just say that there are enough around to not have to look very hard.

Hope everything is going well for everyone! Have a GREAT day!!
Adios!